September 03, 2013

Blogtember Day 1 - What I Come From

Blogtember day 1! Woohoo! The topic for today is to... 

"Describe where or what you come from. 
The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are".

Hmmm... what comes to your mind when you first read the topic?

Well,... personally, for me, it seems like, basically, it boils down to this 1 word: PEOPLE...
To me, whatever place or factor contributions will ultimately be delivered through people.

Nope, not shoving the responsibility of shaping myself to other people. But saying, that what affected me shaping me, were eventually, be it directly or indirectly, these people, through my observations and learned behaviours from them,... or through my learned responses to them. They were a part of my source of knowledge, my shepherds, or my lighthouse so to say.

As for me, these people are namely, my Mum and Dad, and my high school teachers. Say Hello to my Mum, my Dad, and my high school teachers.

Yep, the teachers weren't that cheerful.

These are the people who directly or indirectly shaped me (so far). My ME sculptors.

Now writing this, I just realised that it seems like my self development stopped since high school?? Eep!

Anyway,... My mum is a person whom I think will never grow up. Not that it's wronggg (!), as I don't really like to label people as "immature", let alone telling people to 'Oh, grow up you!' (there are really 3 reasons for this I think, if you really want to know; 1. I think growing up is a lifetime development process, 2. it is very subjective, and 3. I feel that if I say that, that sorts of justifies my self that I am mature and the other person is not, the other person is less than me, and thus a sense of arrogance, self-justification, which might be misleading. I don't enjoy that feeling).

Gladly we (me and my mum) have never been checked for mental health, as if we did, I'm sure we'll be labeled by a dozen of mental issues. But just take it in my words, I think she is a very emotional person, girly, and moody sometimes... and she expresses them all the time if you know what I mean (read: can be a test to any ordinary person who are used to ordinary average human responses living under the same roof with her during those times).
Don't get me wrong, Mum, you know I love you in every possible way. :D In every delicate possible way. :P

Also, it is not all bad about her, she has some good qualities too. People would think that she would crack under a lot of stress. She WILL quack and make you want to sack yourself from being around her yes, but she is persistent in pulling it through, and most of the times she will make them through. Point is, she might be tougher than we think. Unless in conditions where it needs petty physical or mental strength, such as opening bottles, fixing the sewing machine, or ... believe it or else, setting the washing machine for a wash. Then, she will use her girl power for things like these. By girl power I mean,... 'FERDYYYYY!!!!!!!!!'. Ferdy is really my Dad, just to make it clear.
Another thing that I really love about my Mum, is that I think she has a timeless beauty, elegance in appearance, and taste of apparels, and the knack to make beauty products and things to take care herself with from bare necessities. I sure do hope she passes down these qualities to me as well. Although whenever I look into the mirror, I think I have more rough manly quality than her obvious feminine quality. Sigh.

Growing up, I never realised how much I would turn up to resemble my mother in behaviours and characteristics. Until... I went on my own venture to find the ever so famous LOVE.

My parents' relationship has always been the only relationship I know of that I can relate and take as an example of. Well, theirs and those depicted Hollywood made romantic-comedies which are likely to be as unrealistic to what are apparently common. My Mum's responses and behaviours can be thought as exclusively my only reference on how a woman should behave in a relationship. Only yes, now I know that my Dad is a specimen of a rare breed of the extincting species of very-very-patient-gentlemen. Yup, that is the species name.

There was a time up until the age of 7-ish where I was very close with my Mum. We would sleep holding hands, mind you. Or more like me asking to hold her finger. She might be fed up with me even by then. My Dad in those days was working all the time, anddd... he would shoo me every time he was doing his work (he worked from home).

But then,... I grew very close to my Dad since, and I also found some things about myself that, no doubt, was learned from him. My late night and long showers are definitely learned from him, my helplessness stoic stance against emotional people also came from him, ... and maybe, just maybe (wishing), my sense of humour if I have any. Quirky, funny, and self-depreciating.
My father was also a very hard worker. He is also persistent (Ticked! Now I have this trait from both my parents), but with very little self confidence sometimes.

Now on to my last influence, my high school teachers! See when it was time to pick my high-school, I succumbed to the will of my Mum and fate to be enrolled in a... well, I wouldn't say posh, but it was prestigious. Girls my age back then would join the Hunger Games to be in it. Well not literally. Little did they know it was also some kind of Hunger Games once you're inside. A mental kind of Hunger Games.

Pardon me, okay, let me explain. It was a top high school that parents who wanted badly to be proud of their girls (it was an all girl very strict school), want their girls to be enrolled in. Badly, and I mean badly.

Now, there are some characteristics that will naturally come if you have ever been involve with such school:
1. Pride
2. Slight Jane Austen conventional feminism
3. Competitiveness
4. Social awkwardness
Please, the closest contact to a boy that we could get was the remains of the school janitor's fingertouch on our desks while cleaning them. Erm, that came out wrong...

Anyhow, these traits, were what were reflected perfectly on our school teachers, which very unsurprisingly were mostly (really, 90%-10%)... FEMALE! They seem fit to be Professor McGonagall's closest lady friends. Even Professor McGonagall was once married apparently. But these teachers, they chose themselves NOT to marry.
Now in my earliest clue of spinsterhood I start to think about them more than often. How I can understand even more their pattern of thinking, and how it rubbed me more than I thought I allowed. Hmmm... forging my way to the perfect path of Beatrix Potter. Not as great.

It was fun. I hope you had fun too reading it. Oh, it is always fun to be given the chance to 'talk' about our own parents. :P Or, okay, I might made this chance myself.

Happy Blogtember!


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